Tantra and Meditation: Bliss Both in and Out of the Bedroom
What is tantric sex?
In this generation of cut-throat competition and fast-paced life, we seldom lose ourselves in the buzzing mess behind all this noise. Our sexual life, as we know it, comes at a standstill. We have been manipulated by pornography and mainstream media so much that our sexual endeavors need to be rough and “kinky” in order to be pleasurable, but we soon find our bodies starving. It is then when we try to open the ancient books of spirituality to synchronize with the age-old hymns of meditation and yoga. Just like yoga, tantric sex is a way to enlighten our carnal and spiritual form to achieve the most out of it.
The word “tantra” in Sanskrit means “to weave energy”. If we go by its literal translation we can guess tantric sex to inculcate a habit of sexual prowess which involves the amalgamation of energies; physical & mental. Revolving around the ancient practices of Hinduism, tantric sex focuses on creating a deep intimate connection by activating your spiritual chakras to provide you both with the real toe-curling orgasm; something you all have been hunting for.
Here, in this article, I write about those 7 essential rules or rather tips that you must keep in mind if you want to begin your path into this blissful journey of tantric meditation.
Healthy eating
Before getting into the ground you’ll always see athletes maintaining a proper healthy diet. There is a beautiful saying “You are, what you eat” and it indeed carries a lot of meaning when you shed light on it while studying our metabolic pathways. Whatever we eat, has its effects on our body.
Therefore, try to follow a healthy diet. You can use your discretion to practice healthy eating but advice from me would be to avoid alcohol consumption in any form before indulging in tantric sex. Alcohol messes up with your system and it’s highly recommended to not drink before getting on with tantric meditation as it results in a fowl murky experience.
Set up your ambiance
In order to create a safe environment for practicing tantric sex and any yoga practices, one must create a sacred space.
Remove the clutter in your bedroom which includes anything unnecessary like soiled clothes, broken equipment, old forgotten books, etc.
Use a diffuser to satiate your olfactory lobes with the seductive aroma of essential oils. If you ask me, you can try out a mixture of rose and sandalwood oils for a fulfilling experience.
Dim the lights and use an amber hue, or golden light. Amber enriches our skin tone and is also the color of the sacred fire.
Practice active breathing
Practicing tantric sex is like practicing meditation / yoga breathing. One needs to actively focus on one’s breathing in order to awaken the kundalini. Whenever you find yourself delving away in thoughts, get yourself back together, and focus on your breathing pattern. Here are 2 patterns, I’d recommend:
The 4-7-8 pattern
Inhale through your nose slowly to a mental count of 4 seconds.
Hold it inside, keeping your back straight for a count of 7.
Exhale through your mouth to a count of 8.
Repeat this 3 times at every chance you get.
Explore your body
Sex is a method of fulfilling the desires of your own self while indulging in someone else’s. Now, unless you know yourself or rather your body, how will you fulfill it completely?
Sit in front of a mirror. Look into yourself through your senses remember your yoga breathing and yoga practices. Feel your curves and crevices. You need not like what you see on the first day but learn to appreciate it. Most of our modern-day sexual problems arise from the fact that we don’t appreciate our own body; thanks to the trending body-shaming media.
Hence, learn to love your own body. (it's the only one you have, learn to give it credit for carrying you- gratitude is the attitude)
Hence, learn to love your own body.
Communication
There are 2 types of communications. One which you do with your partner on a normal basis and the other which you do while you’re in the act. Decide on a sacred space where you two will let go of yourselves. But outside that room, you two will act like mature nonsexual beings.
Outside the room
Try not to indulge in any sexual conversation. This might sound ironic but too much sexual conversation drives away the tension which is often needed to enrich the experience. But this doesn’t mean that you won’t indulge in flirting; learn the difference between romance and sexual chitchats and you’re good to go.Inside your space
This is where you drop your boundaries and ask each other about their likes and dislikes. Talk to your partner about what turns them on. Discuss each other’s fantasies and fetishes and keep no stones unturned. This is where you let yourselves off your social leash and showcase your inner carnal desires in front of each other. Only when you’re completely transparent towards each other, can you do justice to this beautiful act and enjoy it to the fullest.
If you need more help with the two goals listed above see if there are any tantra courses you and your partner could take to make it more fun.
Orgasm isn’t the goal….is it?
Sounds counter-intuitive. Doesn’t it? Remember, orgasm isn’t always the goal. Neither is sexual intercourse. Your goal is to live in the present moment and enjoy it as a “present”. Trust me, with successful practices of just a few months, you’ll enjoy so much pleasure with the ongoing acts of foreplay and merrymaking that orgasm will just be an added bonus. It is never the ultimate goal and shouldn't be too. It’s just the mass media that has created all this
unnecessary hype about this 3-second act. Isn’t it so silly that two souls would indulge in each other only for a tiny moment of pleasure? Thus, take the moment as it comes and try to enjoy yourself. This way, men can not only shed away the unnecessary burden of “lasting long” but also involve themselves fully in the act. For women to this eases out the tension as they don’t have to worry about performing or any such superficial expectations.
Linearity is not how you must traverse
As of now, you must have followed the script of kissing-foreplay-intercourse and repeated it until you orgasm. It is time to break this pattern. Remember, there are no hard and fast rules to experience yourself in yoga and tantra. You need not follow any set pattern. If you feel like going down on your woman, before giving her a kiss, do it. If you feel like not going down on your man, for now, don’t. More often than not, people end up doing something just because they’ve always done it like that, or just because their partner enjoyed it last time. Don’t. If you’re not feeling the vibe for something on someday, you can skip it.
Now with all these tips at your disposal, you surely can start preparing yourself. I’d like to wrap up by repeating my last point; there is nothing set on the stone. Not even this article. Let my words be the guiding light but not some sacred rulebook. It is hence not sacrilegious to not follow any rules at all! You’re the master of your own body and only you will know how to fulfill it. These tips will act like a setting stone to your world of tantric sex.
Let yourself lose and you’ll soon rediscover sex like never before.